”I sat there stunned for a moment. I was not gay, but I was not with out some experience with men. I wanted to pass. “ I have been with a couple of guys” I said sheepishly. “I bet they loved your pretty mouth on their dicks didn’t they?”I shrugged again, smiled and bit my lip, if I was going to do this I was going to enjoy it. “mostly I was the top” I said.“not this time, tonight you are my bitch, got it?”“Like I said I will do anything to pass....... aaaannnything. So what do you want?”“take off your shirt” I did and he played with my nipple ring. “damn boy I can’t wait to fuck your tight little ass”“then lets get to it” I stood and stripped off his shirt and threw it as he undid my pants and yanked them down leaving me in my blue briefs getting hard. He rubbed my dick as I licked his nipples. “for an old guy you’re pretty fucking sexy” I growled between licks. He sat me on the edge of the kitchen chair and commanded me to unzip his pants. I did so and let them fall. The call I received was from Lt. Joe McCay, Jerry’s boss. I was no longer listed as Jerry’s next of kin but Joe had been to our house with his wife a couple of times and, fairly often in the summer, Joe and Mary held a backyard picnic for the people that worked for him. It was actually Mary that had my number. I had been meeting her for lunch every three or four weeks, she was a big help in understanding how Jerry felt about his job and how she dealt with the fear. The thing that she told me that caused me to look anew at my relationship with Jerry was when she talked about how she handled the demons of being married to a cop. ‘Cindy, you had it backwards about having children. Yeah, Joe has a dangerous job. But if something does happen to him he will live on in our two kids. I will have them and my cherished memories to keep him close to my heart. Joe loves what he does and I could never ask him to walk away from that. ‘Does that mean I never felt that fear, that worry that.
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